SlutWalk London: Rape Survivors Speak Out

WE ALL WANT JUSTICE AND PROTECTION FROM RAPE. Sign our petition to protect all rape survivors and prosecute rapists.

“We got told that he would be arrested 2 weeks after I made the allegation. It took 4 months. In that time they called me in and the detective sat me down and asked me how a teenage child could understand what rape was and that I had to take responsibility for my actions that night.”

“You feel that if I report this, where am I going to live? How am I going to survive? Who is going to look after me? Because the government has already washed their hands of me. When you do get the courage to report, the first thing you get when you go to the police station is ‘what is your status?’ Then they’re calling the UK Border Agency. Before you know it you’ve been raped, you’ve been sexually violated, and you find yourself in the back of the van back to the detention centre.”

“I don’t like the term victims because we’re still here. We are survivors. Every day we are getting out of bed - or sometimes not - but every day we are making it through another day and that makes us strong and it makes us survivors.”

A film by SlutWalk London with Women Against Rape and Black Women’s Rape Action Project, and the English Collective of Prostitutes.

I’m marching because my body is MINE and I can wear what ever I chose to.  

I’m marching for all those girls in abusive relationships that never leave and never call it rape and never report it.

I’m marching because my father hasn’t spoken to me in over two years because I’m a “slut” and “sex slave.”

I’m marching for all those ignorant men out there who blame women for men’s vile actions. We blame ourselves anyway. We judge ourselves and chastise ourselves and hurt ourselves.   

I’m marching for the deputy head at my CATHOLIC SCHOOL that told me “don’t start things you can’t finish.” Reassuring words to tell a traumatised teenager. What hurts more is that I know she has experienced the same thing. 

I’m marching for them not removing him from my classes and moving me instead to lower sets, even though I’m more intelligent than him, further instilling the idea in other’s minds that I’m at fault, I’m to blame and I’m a liar.

I’m marching for all those women whose cases are swept under the carpet by people in positions of power, people who are supposed to help us. 

Every day I am angry. Even in my dreams I am livid.

He took all my power away.

He took away my peace of mind.

He took away the control I felt I had over my body.

I will wake up every day and I will live and I will survive this because it has not and will not kill me. I was a victim once but that doesn’t mean that’s my label forever. I am not a slut and I am not a victim. I am a human being who was hurt and is hurting and I’m doing my damn best to heal.

I have never been able to write this down and even though it has caused a lot of tears writing it, I’m glad that Slut Walk has given me a reason to.

No one should have the power to silence us. 

READ THIS WHOLE PIECE UNDER THE CUT - MAJOR CONTENT WARNING FOR RAPE

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We are delighted to be joining women, girls and our supporters of all ages and backgrounds at SlutWalk in London, part of global protests against rape and victim-blaming. As we prepare to join, we we’re circulating  a response to Black Women’s Blueprint, the US group that discouraged Black women’s participation, though women of colour on every continent joined or organised marches.  This Saturday 22 September we aim to bring out our experience fighting rape by landlords, police, soldiers, immigration officials, security guards, clients, employers, boyfriends, partners. We think that thousands of women publicly identifying as “sluts” is a piece of power against rapists and other attackers who use the excuse of what we wear and how we look to dismiss violence against us.  We hope to see you there!

Women of Colour @ Global Women Strike UK and US

I’m marching because I am fed up with my boundaries being casually violated, especially with a friend of 10 years who recently used my BDSM orientation as an excuse for sexual assault when I emailed him to say ‘when you kissed me when I clearly didn’t want you to it wasn’t ok’.

I’m marching because I identify as a slut, as kinky, as polyamorous, as heteroflexible, as a woman, and as genderqueer and this does not mean I am up for any sexual activity, with any person, all the time.

I’m marching because my identities do not invalidate my ‘no’, nor do they mean someone doesn’t need to bother getting my ‘yes’.

I’m marching because our society would be better if rape-apologists were shunned instead of lauded, and if feminist discourse was used to teach ideas around free consent, power dynamics, privilege and entitlement in an age-appropriate way in our schools, right from Nursery.

I’m marching because when I’m not sure I ask verbally for consent to physically intimate acts and expect those I come into contact with to do the same for me.

I’m marching because at 13 I lost my virginity being raped by a total stranger. I thought it was my fault for wearing a dress and not minding him kissing me.

I’m marching because I have been harassed and propositioned so many times during my school years just waiting for my school bus.

No stranger in a car, I’m not a prostitute, I’m getting the bus home from school.

No passer by, I don’t want to have sex with you, and no you can’t watch me and my girlfriend have sex.

I’m marching because I’ve been assaulted more times than I can count for the sole reason that I was alone with them and trusted them as friends or partners.

I’ll have a ride on the back of your new bike my friend, cool! Why are you stopping here? I don’t want you to touch me.

Yes my friends, thank you for the lift home, that’s very kind of you. This isn’t my house, why are you both climbing into the back with me?

Hi boyfriend! We’re going to hang out with your friends at their place? Sounds like fun! Why are you all getting undressed? I don’t want to get undressed.

I’m marching because I have been openly assaulted in public many times, in front of many witnesses, but it seemed socially acceptable.

Hi guys, hanging out at the bar again too?  I don’t want to sit on your lap, let me go.

I don’t like it when you pull my top/skirt up or try to casually unbutton my clothing.

I don’t like you grabbing parts of my body while I’m waiting for drinks.

No, I don’t want to have sex with you in the bathroom.

Like every other girl out there I cannot even begin to count the times I’ve been assaulted physically, let alone mentally and verbally. I’m 27 now and still don’t have the courage and self worth needed to speak openly about any of this. I’m marching for everyone else like me.

March with us at SlutWalk London 2012, and tell us why at slutwalklondon@gmail.com

This year I had promised myself I would march for the women’s rights I vehemently support, and as a symbol of no longer feeling ashamed of being raped. Unfortunately, being that I have to move into university on the 22nd of September, I guess this won’t be possible. Yet the reasons for wishing to march are still the same, and I will march in future for them.

I was raped as a 15 year old by my best friend. I knew everything about this boy and trusted him. I thought it was clear that our friendship would always be a platonic one. I didn’t dress like a slut - I was a self-conscious teenager who tried desperately hard to cover what I thought was an awful figure. He invited me to listen to him playing guitar; I didn’t realize this activity would cost me my livelihood. 

For years I blamed myself. I figured I had to be a bad person for this to happen to me. People that I told didn’t believe me, they too thought I must have been asking for it. The SlutWalk campaign taught me otherwise - what happened to me was wrong, and not my fault. I wanted to march to make society finally see that people don’t ask for rape, and just what an awful, life destroying thing it is.

March with us at SlutWalk London 2012, and tell us why at slutwalklondon@gmail.com

I am a vehement supporter of women’s rights and a feminist, as well as an anti-rape militant.

However, this is not the only reason that Slutwalk is an important cause to me. I was raped in December 2011, by an acquaintance. He was the friend of a friend, I thought I could trust him and also thought I’d made it clear that I was not interested.

He told me I could sleep on his sofa… But he didn’t have one.

I was violated, physically and mentally, and it obviously still haunts me and affects me today.

I want to make sure that other women don’t have to go through such a harrowing experience alone.

I want to make sure that men realise just how wrong such an act is, and just how terribly often it happens.

I want to try and make rape a thing of the past-  and failing that, I want to make sure that we have the infrastructure and support to help those affected.

Why are you marching? Tell us at slutwalklondon@gmail.com, and join us at SlutWalk on 22nd September.